Post by guts on Nov 6, 2005 21:22:18 GMT -5
Name: Guts
Sex: Despite being the manliest manly male in existence, Guts has long tired from the act of intercourse, and thus will not partake of any vaguely clever or amusing pun based around copulation.
Physical appearance: Guts is a MAN. A manly, manly man. Guts doesn't have a six-pack or twenty-four pack. Guts disdains such body-building as it is pure. Guts' body consists of one massive scar, yet still retaining those ruggedly handsome barbarian features one only gains after slaying roughly the population of two small cities. His abs are so strong that one time he killed ten people by running into them, just to prove he could. His muscles are the equivalant of one hundred cubic meters of titanium. One time Guts borrowed A SLEDGE HAMMER so he could give himself a manly massage, but it wasn't strong enough. He didn't feel a thing.
Guts dresses in a simple tunic nearly as manly as he is. In fact, the tunic he wears is so manly that one time an orphan smelled it and died. But Guts didn't care. Actually, he killed three more orphans afterwards, just because he could.
Guts' voice is a surprisingly melodic tenor, as he views the choral arts as one of the only true manly recreations in existence. In fact, one time Guts saw some people and didn't kill them, because they were singers and thus manly. On the other hand, Guts considers football one of the most women-like activities in existence, and one time he went to the Superbowl and strangled everyone there with a cowhide garrotte, just because there wasn't anything else to do. Guts talks in all capitals just to express his unrestrained masculinity, even when reciting poetry (only the manly kind, though). Actually, one time Guts went back in time and tore off Edgar Allen Poe's head and threw it in a meat grinder and laughed, just because he had tired of Poe's sickeningly pansyish literature.
And speaking of his manliness, Guts is manly. He is a walking vessel of manlyness. His favorite drink is a combination of rusty nails, absinthe, and blood, all mixed in a emptied human skull. Someone said Guts was girly because of this, but Guts tore out that person's aorta and ate it.
Actually, Guts is so manly that he usually kills particularly annoying pansies by raising his blood pressure to the trillions, spraying blood from every conceivable orfice. Guts' blood is acidic and poisonous, consisting purely of rusty nails and absinthe, so one time he burned down a whole city of newborn babies this way. Then he laughed and hired three dozen tenors.
Guts is also a pirate, although he doesn't dress like one. He is a pirate because pirates are manly. He has perpetual scurvy, because he only dines on human flesh and exceptionally red meats(plus rusty nails and absinthe). He also eats veggitareans, but he doesn't like to often because they're such girly-men. Not that that would hurt him, because he's Guts.
Initial (ONLY) type: Warrior. Guts is not a girly-man multiclasser. He is a warrior and a warrior only.
Weapons: Big sword. Guts' sword is big and strong enough to cut mountains in half, but he wouldn't do that, because sometimes he eats rock when there aren't any girly-men around. Guts' sword is more the equivalant of a lightsaber than anything else, only big and manly. Some accuse Guts of overcompensating, but Guts just looked at those people and they died and cried like girly-men. Guts is so manly, in fact, that his manliness has to be rolled up (one time it took three years) and contained within a pocket dimension so it won't reach critical mass and form a black hole. Guts is MANLY.
Bio: One day Guts was sitting in the manlier version of Valhalla, surfing on his manly computer, draped with fifteen samurai armors and his tunic and absently fending off an army with one pinky finger. He found a website with lots of girly-men that plagaurized material and general acting like weeping females. Growing slightly annoyed (Guts doesn't get angry anymore--he's too masculine) he wiped the armors off of himself like fleas and slew the rest of the army with a glance (his glance can act like bullets, only manlier). He then jumped down to wherever all of these girly-men were, falling 10,000,000 feet and then frowning because it hadn't felt particularly manly.
Guts is manly.
Sex: Despite being the manliest manly male in existence, Guts has long tired from the act of intercourse, and thus will not partake of any vaguely clever or amusing pun based around copulation.
Physical appearance: Guts is a MAN. A manly, manly man. Guts doesn't have a six-pack or twenty-four pack. Guts disdains such body-building as it is pure. Guts' body consists of one massive scar, yet still retaining those ruggedly handsome barbarian features one only gains after slaying roughly the population of two small cities. His abs are so strong that one time he killed ten people by running into them, just to prove he could. His muscles are the equivalant of one hundred cubic meters of titanium. One time Guts borrowed A SLEDGE HAMMER so he could give himself a manly massage, but it wasn't strong enough. He didn't feel a thing.
Guts dresses in a simple tunic nearly as manly as he is. In fact, the tunic he wears is so manly that one time an orphan smelled it and died. But Guts didn't care. Actually, he killed three more orphans afterwards, just because he could.
Guts' voice is a surprisingly melodic tenor, as he views the choral arts as one of the only true manly recreations in existence. In fact, one time Guts saw some people and didn't kill them, because they were singers and thus manly. On the other hand, Guts considers football one of the most women-like activities in existence, and one time he went to the Superbowl and strangled everyone there with a cowhide garrotte, just because there wasn't anything else to do. Guts talks in all capitals just to express his unrestrained masculinity, even when reciting poetry (only the manly kind, though). Actually, one time Guts went back in time and tore off Edgar Allen Poe's head and threw it in a meat grinder and laughed, just because he had tired of Poe's sickeningly pansyish literature.
And speaking of his manliness, Guts is manly. He is a walking vessel of manlyness. His favorite drink is a combination of rusty nails, absinthe, and blood, all mixed in a emptied human skull. Someone said Guts was girly because of this, but Guts tore out that person's aorta and ate it.
Actually, Guts is so manly that he usually kills particularly annoying pansies by raising his blood pressure to the trillions, spraying blood from every conceivable orfice. Guts' blood is acidic and poisonous, consisting purely of rusty nails and absinthe, so one time he burned down a whole city of newborn babies this way. Then he laughed and hired three dozen tenors.
Guts is also a pirate, although he doesn't dress like one. He is a pirate because pirates are manly. He has perpetual scurvy, because he only dines on human flesh and exceptionally red meats(plus rusty nails and absinthe). He also eats veggitareans, but he doesn't like to often because they're such girly-men. Not that that would hurt him, because he's Guts.
Initial (ONLY) type: Warrior. Guts is not a girly-man multiclasser. He is a warrior and a warrior only.
Weapons: Big sword. Guts' sword is big and strong enough to cut mountains in half, but he wouldn't do that, because sometimes he eats rock when there aren't any girly-men around. Guts' sword is more the equivalant of a lightsaber than anything else, only big and manly. Some accuse Guts of overcompensating, but Guts just looked at those people and they died and cried like girly-men. Guts is so manly, in fact, that his manliness has to be rolled up (one time it took three years) and contained within a pocket dimension so it won't reach critical mass and form a black hole. Guts is MANLY.
Bio: One day Guts was sitting in the manlier version of Valhalla, surfing on his manly computer, draped with fifteen samurai armors and his tunic and absently fending off an army with one pinky finger. He found a website with lots of girly-men that plagaurized material and general acting like weeping females. Growing slightly annoyed (Guts doesn't get angry anymore--he's too masculine) he wiped the armors off of himself like fleas and slew the rest of the army with a glance (his glance can act like bullets, only manlier). He then jumped down to wherever all of these girly-men were, falling 10,000,000 feet and then frowning because it hadn't felt particularly manly.
Guts is manly.